


judas kiss

by orphan_account



Series: kageyama rare pair collection [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Cheating, Insecure Kageyama Tobio, M/M, cheating is between tkkg, its tobio's pov for a short time then its all tsukki's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26066320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: tobio doesn't think kei's act of cheating is a betrayal. he thinks it's a sign that he's not good enough for the blond man.☽♚☾Tobio’s voice comes out utterly vulnerable. Kei never wanted to hurt him. Tobio was already a broken soul when they first met. Karasuno carefully put him back together and Kei swore to make sure he stays that way—heart unscathed.Bullshit.The way Tobio starts shaking tells him that he has miserably failed. Kei tries to explain why he wants to break up. Tobio steps closer and looks at Kei with trembling pupils.“Ple— please don’t leave me…” Tobio brings a weak hand up to clench at the collar of Kei’s coat. “I promise I’ll do better. I— I’ll try not to be so stupid or needy… I’ll try to be a better boyfriend. Just— p-please don’t leave me.”Kei’s heart shatters. Tobio thinks this ishisfault. He thinks it’s his fault Kei cheated because he isn’t good enough. He doesn’t want Kei to leave him. Tobio had always been too good for this world.
Relationships: Implied Kageyama Tobio/Miya Atsumu - Relationship, Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei
Series: kageyama rare pair collection [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1620874
Comments: 20
Kudos: 321





	judas kiss

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted to write angst and idk why tkkg came to mind. ahaha and wow its a xmas miracle. i managed to post twice in the span of less than a month. i was having rly bad writer's block for a while so i think thats why.

The pitter patter of the rain against his fiberglass windows make his eyelids feel heavier. It’s off-season and he has practically nothing to do save for his daily two hour long workouts. He stares at the glowing red numbers of the digital clock sitting lonesomely on the bedside table Kei purchased from Ikea.  _ Huh. That’s why it’s already dark. It’s almost six. _

A moment. Then,  _ Kei should be home anytime now. _

As if on cue, the obnoxiously loud sound of the front door creaking bounces off the walls of their shared apartment.  _ Really, they should get the hinges oiled soon. _ He sits up on the bed and waits for Kei to open the bedroom door to give him his welcome-home-kiss-and-hug.

It’s taking a bit longer than usual. He can see the shadow of Kei’s feet by the tiny gap at the bottom of the bedroom door. Tobio doesn’t say anything. He just sits and waits for the door to swing open so that the light from the hallway pours into the room along with Kei.

One second. Three seconds. Seven seconds.

The door opens gently.

Tobio smiles the smile he only shows his special people. The special people. They are the handful of people Tobio can be confident about being  _ Tobio _ in front of. Namely, Kazuyo, Miwa, the Karasuno first year gang and Tsukishima Kei. Tsukishima Kei—his boyfriend of about three years give or take, ever since late of their second year in high school.

Hinata and Yamaguchi trying to get them together had maybe been one of the most skillful feats they’ve ever accomplished, considering the middle blocker and setter’s stubbornness. Yachi had treated them out along with Yamaguchi around after their first two months of dating as a double date. Yamaguchi and Yachi are getting married next year. Oh how time flies.

He realises that Kei is acting weird. His eyes are darting around the room and he hasn’t even taken off his coat yet. He keeps running his left hand through his hair, combing the blond strands that Tobio likes to play with when they watch any show they find interesting on Netflix.

Tobio tilts his head to the side. “What’s wrong?” he asks, concern lacing his voice so obviously.

There’s a stretch of silence. Tobio starts to fidget. Did he do something wrong? Did he forget an important day? It’s not their anniversary yet, right? He flinches when he hears Kei take a deep breath.

“Let’s break up, Tobio.”

The words are ringing in his head. His throat feels dry and it starts to itch. His eyes are stinging. He tries to count to ten in his mind as he slowly stands up from the bed to take a few steps towards Kei. He wills himself to calm down. He clenches and unclenches his fists at his sides. He looks into Kei’s golden eyes. 

“Why?” It comes out broken. Tobio curses himself for being so weak. There must be an explanation for this. Kei is one of if not the most rational person he’s ever met. He won’t just leave Tobio for no absolute reason.

The stupid voices which he thought were long gone start to speak to him.

_ He found someone else. _

_ You were starting to get annoying. _

_ He can’t handle you anymore. _

_ You were foolish to think he’d want to keep you around forever. _

_ He never even loved you in the first place. _

He only realises that he’s started crying when he has to sniffle. Ah, shit. It took four words to tear Tobio down. He looks down at the dinosaur socks Kei bought for the secret santa with their friends a year back.  _ Why am I so weak? _

“... Tobio?” Kei calls out to him. The only response he receives is a weak hum. Tobio can’t speak right now. He doesn’t want to. What will he even say?

“I— I cheated,” he whispers. “You were abroad and I went for a drink. There was this girl…” Kei explains.

A choked sob escapes Tobio’s lips.  _ Ah, okay. _

☽♚☾

That was the night Kei has regretted more in his life and it will probably stay the same for the years to come until he’s buried six feet underground. God, how stupid was he? Just because his boyfriend was abroad for his  _ job _ a bit too long he went ahead and pulls off some stupid shit like this.

He had kicked the woman out immediately after he had woken up the next day, his senses finally coming back to him. Kei thinks she’s crazy. She was still going on and on about how Kei was calling her Tobio when he was thrusting into her. He had never needed to suppress the urge to punch somebody until now—the girl and then himself.

He almost broke down when he picked Tobio up from the airport the next week. He looked so  _ so _ happy to just be back in Kei’s arms, rambling about how he didn’t like foreign food but their pastries were really nice.

Now, it’s been a month since the incident. He can’t keep his mouth shut anymore. He can’t keep stringing Tobio along like this. Everytime Kei returned home, Tobio would welcome him with a kiss and hug. Sometimes, he’d even try to cook dinner for them.  _ It hurts just thinking about it. _

Kei decides to tell Tobio today. His footsteps feel heavy when he steps into their apartment. He stops right in front of the bedroom door. He hesitates before opening the door. His chest feels tight when he notices Tobio has been waiting for him for the entire day.

Tobio says something to him. He doesn’t recognise the words. He takes a deep breath and says the word he hoped he had never needed to say in his entire life, especially not to Kageyama Tobio.

He can hear the raven’s breathing start to get frantic. He looks up when he hears Tobio stepping towards him. Kei’s resolve crumbles when Tobio looks at him with eyes that always tell everyone about him so much. They’re shining with unshed tears.

Tobio’s voice comes out utterly vulnerable. Kei never wanted to hurt him. Tobio was already a broken soul when they first met. Karasuno carefully put him back together and Kei swore to make sure he stays that way—heart unscathed.

_ Bullshit.  _

The way Tobio starts shaking tells him that he has miserably failed. Kei tries to explain why he wants to break up. Tobio steps closer and looks at Kei with trembling pupils.

“Ple— please don’t leave me…” Tobio brings a weak hand up to clench at the collar of Kei’s coat. “I promise I’ll do better. I— I’ll try not to be so stupid or needy… I’ll try to be a better boyfriend. Just— p-please don’t leave me.”

Kei’s heart shatters. Tobio thinks this is  _ his _ fault. He thinks it’s his fault Kei cheated because he isn’t good enough. He doesn’t want Kei to leave him. Tobio had always been too good for this world. 

He resists the urge to reach out. He can’t touch Tobio—can’t taint him further with himself. Tobio’s eyes are looking at him—searching for something,  _ anything. _ All Kei can do is sigh as a lump starts forming at his throat. “It’s not your fault, Tobio,” he whispers.

Tobio chokes on another sob. “It’s never your fault,” Kei continues. “I’m asking you to break up with me because I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t go…” Tobio whispers, his voice strained.

Kei digs the heel of his right hand into his eyes. “Don’t you understand? Tobio, I  _ hurt _ you. If you stay with me any longer, who knows what’s going to happen. So, please, let’s break up. I really don’t want to do this to you.”  _ I don’t want to hurt you even more than I’ve already had. _

“... But you’re all I have.”

Kei wants to scream.  _ This _ is why he fell in love; because Tobio never doubted him from the start and put all his faith in Kei no matter the situation. He tries to search Tobio’s eyes for any sign of resentment or anger or hatred—just  _ anything. _ All he can see is the desperation and fear.  _ You were always too kind for anyone. _

If Tadashi decides that this is going to end their two-decade-long friendship once word gets out to him, so be it. He deserves it. Hell, if Shouyou tracks him down and spikes a ball in his face, he won’t even fight it.

“It’s for the best, Tobio…” he says softly, as if Tobio would break if his voice is amplified even for just a single decibel.

It takes Tobio a few minutes to calm his breathing down. There are still tears rolling down his cheeks when he looks back up at Kei. “Okay… Goodbye. I love you, Kei,” he says through hiccups.

He grabs his phone from the nightstand and pecks Kei on the lips before wobbling out the front door. It’s only when he hears the soft click of it closing does he sink down to his knees and let his tears stain the carpeted floor.

He gets a phone call the next day from Hitoka. He presumes that Tobio has told their friends about the horrible things he did to him. “Hitoka?” he answers.

“Hey… I just wanna ask if something happened between you and Tobio. He showed up at our doorstep last night and he couldn’t stop crying. He’s having a high fever. Tadashi is changing the wet cloth on his forehead right now.”

_ Tobio didn’t tell them. What the hell is wrong with Kageyama Tobio? Why is he so kind? _

His throat goes dry. He forgets that Hitoka is waiting for an answer until she starts speaking again. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“We broke up,” he says after another pause.

He can hear her sharp intake of breath. “Oh… okay,” she says softly. 

“It’s not his fault,” Kei adds. Everyone should know that. He wants to tell Hitoka what happened, but he’s a coward.  _ Maybe next time. _

“I understand.”  _ Does she really? _ “I’ll call you back another time when you’re ready to talk about it.”

☽♚☾

Shouyou and Tadashi show up at his front door the next week with boxes in tow. Tobio had sent them to pick his stuff up. They talk like they normally do as their cheery selves, but the air around the three of them is tense. They don’t ask about the break up. Kei isn’t even surprised anymore that Tobio has said nothing about Kei’s actions. Shouyou explains that Tobio is going to be staying with him since he has an extra room.

Kei finishes half a bottle of whiskey when they leave. The thought of Tobio telling them to help him get his stuff hurts because he  _ knows _ Tobio is scared that if he faces Kei, he might not be able to turn away like the blond wants him to.

He texts Shouyou, Tadashi and Hitoka privately to meet him at his apartment the next weekend. They easily oblige.

☽♚☾

When he finishes telling them about the break up, Tadashi is trying to hold back Shouyou from attacking Kei. But he can see that Tadashi is trying to calm himself down before he lashes out too. Yachi has tears in her eyes as she looks at Kei with pure disappointment.

His head is a little fuzzy, but he can make out words from Shouyou’s voice shouting something along the lines of: “He loved you so much! What the fuck, Kei! And if I’m not wrong he still is!”

Tadashi uses all his might to drag Shouyou out of the apartment. He looks over at Kei with a look filled with disgust before proceeding to the way of the apartment lobby. Hitoka abruptly stands up and looks at him. She has to go on her tiptoes to slap him on his cheek before following Tadashi with wobbly lips plastered on her face.

When he sees their cars leave from his bedroom window, he steps out to the balcony and yells. He doesn’t care if he gets a noise complaint the next day.

☽♚☾

It’s the year 2021 now; almost three years after the worst day of his life. Shouyou had cut almost all contact with him, but Kei doesn’t blame him for it. Tadashi and Hitoka meet him maybe once or twice a year, but that doesn’t mean they’re less unforgiving than Shouyou.

The Tokyo Olympics is airing on the small television in the hole in the wall sushi restaurant he’s currently having lunch at. He tries to ignore the gut wrenching feeling he gets when the JNT is introduced. His eyebrows raise involuntarily when he recognises Oikawa on the Argentinean team. He didn’t know the older man had changed his nationality.

He presses his lips into a thin line when the camera pans to Atsumu pushing Tobio towards the Vabo-chan mascots. At least he looks like he’s doing fine at the moment. Then, there’s a commercial break just before the match starts. He recognises the commercial. It’s the brand deal Tobio managed to score with Shouyou as the ‘freak duo’.

When the live footage cuts back, the JNT are huddled together and listening closely to what Iwaizumi is telling them. They all nod firmly with determination painted across their faces. They disperse after a small pep talk from their coach. 

He winces as Atsumu faces Tobio and combs his hand through his hair before it slides down and tickles the younger’s neck. Tobio scowls and pouts at Atsumu who laughs at him, but his eyes are soft when they are trained on the younger setter. He pinches Tobio’s nose playfully one more time before Tobio has to get on court.

When Tobio looks back at Atsumu, he offers him a barely noticeable nod and smile. Atsumu holds up his pinky finger and nods back.  _ What the hell, Kei. _ The two setters weren’t even the main focus on the screen, but his eyes had to betray him and follow their every movement. He sighs deeply. His brain doesn’t want to admit that he knows exactly what’s going on between the two men on TV.

He leaves the restaurant after witnessing the first point going to Japan, the old geezers in the store going wild. 

He’s about to sleep when he’s scrolling through Twitter. He sees tons of pictures taken by fans of the smallest yet sweetest interactions between Tobio and Atsumu. He decides to call it a day when he stumbles across a photo of Tobio poking Atsumu’s forehead with his index finger.

_ Goodbye, Tobio. _

**Author's Note:**

> im so sry to all the tkkg fans. i might write a part 2 w atsukage's relationship tho :D u are all welcome to punch kei aft yachi
> 
> my twt is @KYOOMlE if ure interested in looking at my bs tweets


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